A little Christian humor

Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on the computer. They had been going at it for days, and frankly God was tired of hearing all the bickering. Finally fed up, God said, "THAT'S IT! I have had enough. I am going to set up a test that will run for two hours, and from those results, I will judge who does the better job."

So Satan and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away.
They moused.
They faxed.
They e-mailed.
They e-mailed with attachments.
They downloaded.
They did spreadsheets!
They wrote reports.
They created labels and cards.
They created charts and graphs.
They did some genealogy reports
They did every job known to man.
Jesus worked with heavenly efficiency and Satan was faster than hell. Then, ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, rain poured, and, of course, the power went off. Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed.
Finally the electricity came back on, and each of them restarted their computers. Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all GONE! "I lost everything when the power went out!" Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours of work. Satan observed this and became irate. "Wait!" he screamed. "That's not fair! He cheated!
How come he has all his work and I don't have any?"

God just shrugged and said,
"JESUS SAVES"

9 words women use

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right, and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour.
Don't be mad about this, it is just the same 5 minutes you use when it's your turn to help do things around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in FINE.
(see #1).

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is not actually a word but a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means.. she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.
(Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you. Do not question or faint.
Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying "you lose!"

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in the man asking "what's wrong" and for the woman's response refer to #3.

My Sweetie

Well I finally figured out the best way to get the ancient camera to work. it takes 10 seconds to take a picture and there's no view screen to see how the pictures turn out. I ended up hooking it up via the usb port and taking the pics with picassa. I took this pic of me and my sweetie. when she saw it she said it makes me look.......

Oh well the camera always adds 10 pounds, so they say.

Pain

Well after about a week of dealing with another round of sever knee pain I finally made it in to see the doctor. the VA doctor i have is about as friendly as a sponge. he rarely talks to you so I think I'm going to change doctors. Back to the knee. He gave me some percocet to calm the pain. it's worked so far but the only problem with narcotic pain killer is how dizzy I become and have to stay in bed for a couple of days until my body gets use to it.

New Year

Well a new year has come and the election is over. Over the holidays my mom and dad and my brothers and a couple of sisters came to visit for Christmas. I received a lathe from Bonnie and a bunch of scrap wood. I also received 40 pen/pencil blanks that I've slowly been turning here and there. I'm still waiting on the VA to come through with my disability appeal. I'm tired of waiting for them to do something.